Hwei Ming

“Everybody’s days are numbered”, “When’s yours?”

Today marks a day, of absolutely horror for Hwei Ming’s Wanna Be.

This is the thing you have to endure if you want to re-live the life of Hwei Ming on 22nd May 2009 from 6am till 10pm(the time this was written).

Waking to a daunting morning, it was drizzling. The sky was grey, Hwei Ming feels blue and there was Mark Dunne (Hwei Ming’s Membranes and Signalling Lecturer) notes left to memorized.

With a hungry stomach but determination of an elephant (no offence, but, if you are the size of an elephant, having sex must be really tough and you’ll need to be persistence and determined if not, your pee-pee is not going to get anywhere to where it wanna be), Hwei Ming studied until he decided he had enough of this mental abuse.

He then, bath, where he forgot to bring his towel to the toilet, again. Dressed and headed to McDonalds for breakfast. Latte with 2 scachette of suger (over roasted coffee beans), Hashbrown (still raw on the inside) and Sausage McMuffin with Egg (good stuff). Mix all these, gave Hwei Ming an upset tummy.

Nevertheless, life must go on, and Hwei Ming when off to exam at 9.45am. In his mind plays the music “Highway to hell” for he never felt dumber. Honestly, the time allocated for the exam was just enough. But, because of intelectual differences between Hwei Ming and say, the rest of the student in the hall, he finished 15min earlier. Lick the side of the paper to seal his name, he felt like his life was significantly shorten due to the chemical present in the glue.

Feeling already miserable from exam, he made his was back home and clean his room. 50% of the mess is not tuck away nicely at one conner and he slept.

Hwei Ming then decided to buy some food. Dressed like a Manchester Student (purple hoodie) he made his way to the bustop where he just missed 2 busses. 15min later, he got on 111StageCoach. 3min later, he was walking in the rain to Piccadilly. For God sake, why on earth did they choose to block the road today, out of every other day in his God forsaken life.

You know the song, “you put your right foot in, you put for right foot out, and you turn it all around”, Hwei Ming just put his entire left foot into a puddle of water and uses his right foot to embrace the fall of the water. In his white pair of shoe.

When to Tesco, there were no sweet baby corns.

Then he decided to eat duck. “Hello”, he said. “I would like to tapao (Chinese Translation: Take Away) one whole Cantonese roast duck please”, he said politely. “Chi Ke Ren (Chinese Translation: How many people)?”, says the fat chinese waiter. “-_-”, his expression.

Rudely, he was forwarded to a chinese man, slim, tall, but Hwei Ming thinks he looks way better looking.

Got his duck, and off Hwei Ming go, and ironically, it was bus 111Stagecoach that took him back. No road block this time, just and really cramp seat that Hwei Ming had to seat in such an awkward position, those you only have to do when you are doing, The Buddha Style. Not really sure whether its the male or the female but hey, females do have strap-on now. They do, do it, both ways.

Anyway, back home, he realises he has spill the duck sauce, all over the plastic bag. Hemph.

Then, after a meal of just Rice and duck, he decided to print his pass year paper. Where it all went completely wrong.

Error Number 1.

He printed on the paper he had sribble some plans to murder a lecturer.

Error Number 2.

He printed it on a test pad.

Ugh. Hwei Ming though of that moment.

“What the fuck! Next time, before printing, please for God sake, check whats in the paper tray”

There were about 1cm tick of papers in the paper tray. He looks at all 1cm worth of paper. It was all white. He likes white. White makes him happy.

To staple. He spend half an hour finding for this stapler. Only to realize, it was right where he left it, right where he always left it.

He thinks today, a day, he shall remember for a very long time. A day, nothing that can be serious at all. A day, where thing will go wrong, and most probably, can go wrong again.

What he saw today, was what he eventually believes.

“Life sucks, life please go away”

Hemph, maybe my days are numbered. 3rd June to be exact.