Hwei Ming

-Bagel with cream cheese-

“People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort” Gregory House, M.D.

Seating at a coast at the South of England.

Its a long way down from where I’m seating..

hehehehe..

<3

XoXo

I’ve been to Liverpool and I found this…

Joshur looks like he is being anal raped…… with no lubricant!!

Taken during Mah Jong session, discover in camera weeks after going to Liverpool for a (real) short holiday.

Anyway, back safely at Liverpool and continuing the rat race…

*squiks*

Fetched right from the back of the box I was drinking:

“Moles. Bearers of poor eyesight, dab hands at burrowing tunnels, living underground and making a mess of neatly manicured front lawn. They’re also used by scientists to measure the amount of a substance in something.

This superfruit smoothie you hold in your hands contain 3300 micromoles of antioxidants in every 250mL serving. Which means every time you drink it, thousands of miniature moles scurry around inside you, making you feel a bit better. So make sure you carry it carefully and try not to leave it near a golf course.”

p/s. Not a paid ad. I don’t have much readers to start with anyway.

“Everybody’s days are numbered”, “When’s yours?”

Today marks a day, of absolutely horror for Hwei Ming’s Wanna Be.

This is the thing you have to endure if you want to re-live the life of Hwei Ming on 22nd May 2009 from 6am till 10pm(the time this was written).

Waking to a daunting morning, it was drizzling. The sky was grey, Hwei Ming feels blue and there was Mark Dunne (Hwei Ming’s Membranes and Signalling Lecturer) notes left to memorized.

With a hungry stomach but determination of an elephant (no offence, but, if you are the size of an elephant, having sex must be really tough and you’ll need to be persistence and determined if not, your pee-pee is not going to get anywhere to where it wanna be), Hwei Ming studied until he decided he had enough of this mental abuse.

He then, bath, where he forgot to bring his towel to the toilet, again. Dressed and headed to McDonalds for breakfast. Latte with 2 scachette of suger (over roasted coffee beans), Hashbrown (still raw on the inside) and Sausage McMuffin with Egg (good stuff). Mix all these, gave Hwei Ming an upset tummy.

Nevertheless, life must go on, and Hwei Ming when off to exam at 9.45am. In his mind plays the music “Highway to hell” for he never felt dumber. Honestly, the time allocated for the exam was just enough. But, because of intelectual differences between Hwei Ming and say, the rest of the student in the hall, he finished 15min earlier. Lick the side of the paper to seal his name, he felt like his life was significantly shorten due to the chemical present in the glue.

Feeling already miserable from exam, he made his was back home and clean his room. 50% of the mess is not tuck away nicely at one conner and he slept.

Hwei Ming then decided to buy some food. Dressed like a Manchester Student (purple hoodie) he made his way to the bustop where he just missed 2 busses. 15min later, he got on 111StageCoach. 3min later, he was walking in the rain to Piccadilly. For God sake, why on earth did they choose to block the road today, out of every other day in his God forsaken life.

You know the song, “you put your right foot in, you put for right foot out, and you turn it all around”, Hwei Ming just put his entire left foot into a puddle of water and uses his right foot to embrace the fall of the water. In his white pair of shoe.

When to Tesco, there were no sweet baby corns.

Then he decided to eat duck. “Hello”, he said. “I would like to tapao (Chinese Translation: Take Away) one whole Cantonese roast duck please”, he said politely. “Chi Ke Ren (Chinese Translation: How many people)?”, says the fat chinese waiter. “-_-”, his expression.

Rudely, he was forwarded to a chinese man, slim, tall, but Hwei Ming thinks he looks way better looking.

Got his duck, and off Hwei Ming go, and ironically, it was bus 111Stagecoach that took him back. No road block this time, just and really cramp seat that Hwei Ming had to seat in such an awkward position, those you only have to do when you are doing, The Buddha Style. Not really sure whether its the male or the female but hey, females do have strap-on now. They do, do it, both ways.

Anyway, back home, he realises he has spill the duck sauce, all over the plastic bag. Hemph.

Then, after a meal of just Rice and duck, he decided to print his pass year paper. Where it all went completely wrong.

Error Number 1.

He printed on the paper he had sribble some plans to murder a lecturer.

Error Number 2.

He printed it on a test pad.

Ugh. Hwei Ming though of that moment.

“What the fuck! Next time, before printing, please for God sake, check whats in the paper tray”

There were about 1cm tick of papers in the paper tray. He looks at all 1cm worth of paper. It was all white. He likes white. White makes him happy.

To staple. He spend half an hour finding for this stapler. Only to realize, it was right where he left it, right where he always left it.

He thinks today, a day, he shall remember for a very long time. A day, nothing that can be serious at all. A day, where thing will go wrong, and most probably, can go wrong again.

What he saw today, was what he eventually believes.

“Life sucks, life please go away”

Hemph, maybe my days are numbered. 3rd June to be exact.

Asked the last time, am I ready to live alone, out on my very own. To my very own house, and pay my very own bills.

No, I’m not.

Asked me now,

No, but I’m certainly that little prepared.

Exam in 2 days.

Fucked. Up.

“The only king without a mustache in a deck of cards is the king of hearts”

Hey!! I must be a King of Hearts. I got no mustache!!

Who wanna be my Queen of Hearts?

Awesome fact 2009: The inventor of the Waffle Iron did not like waffles.

**

So there I was, on my journey,

to find the one, that could be my honey.

I shall not be stopped, I shall not wither;

Even if they stared, I shall not cover my little twinkler.

and there I was again, looking for a sign,

walking with no aim, looking for the girl that could make me sane.

Forgive me Lord, for I have sin,

I’ve killed a lot, for I want to be seen.

In her name, I fought,

for the dame, I love.

Okie.. I’m out of word…

How ever did Shakespeare did it…*sigh*

Well thats Monna Lisa’s Fan

and thats monna lisa herself.

and here are some random picture..

There are many type of tomatoes in this world, there are big ones, and there are small ones.

There are some human tomato, use to express redness.

There are also tomato used to make spaghetti sauce.

But, I bet you, nothing will ever prepare you for this, unless, you already seen it..

This is a tomato…

WITH A DICK!!!!

POWER NOT??

Hahaha..never in my life  dicks come in red in colour!!

hahahaha… speak of some awesome excitation when wrong!! hahahahahah…

So there you have it, my Day 9 of Project 365!!

A tomato with a dick!